Hi everyone. Lately, we've talked about honesty, so I thought I'd write about it for all of you. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Honesty is an important character trait that gets abandoned when we are truly abused, then falsely blamed for the abuse and resulting trauma.
When surviving a traumatic childhood, or any time of abuse, we learn to survive, by minimizing information. It worked for me, by telling Hellen only what I absolutely had to, not offering any further information; essentially I was lying - in that I wasn't disclosing the full story of where I had been, etc...and it worked. I didn't get beat, kicked, or worse.
But, when we move past the abusive situation, it clearly doesn't work. Dishonesty doesn't move us toward healing and it doesn't stall our healing process; it takes us backward.
As hard as it can be, facing the abuse and telling the truth about what happened - even when it's not popular with the relatives - is the only path to healing.
So, take it in baby steps, one step at a time.
None of us caused or deserved the abuse or trauma. We all did what we had to, to survive. We've been there, we get that.
But now, we must do what we have to, to heal. Honesty is the first step.
Honesty with ourselves, our counselors, and our families and friends.
It's not a betrayal, to tell the truth.
The truth really does set you free.
Then you can be free to live your life authentically without the burden of guilt for what no human deserved in the first place.
Only then, will true healing come.
Wilma